Monday, June 3, 2013

About a dress…

So after more than a year, I’m in the mood to write again. The topic is new for this blog, but the thought and sentiment are old and I’m sure very familiar to many women of my age. So expect nothing new, except may be the fact that I actually bothered to put it in writing.

This new summer season opened with a bit more financial stability, and I suddenly felt like I NEEDED new clothes. In my sleepless nights when all the Facebook postings and pictures are checked out and the hot Slate topics have been read, the online shopping starts. Shopping for a woman in her 50s, who is no longer a size 4 and has limited funds can get boring very quickly. With limited selection the first thing which comes to mind is loose-fitting, elegant clothes by Eileen Fisher. I learned to like her designs, not immediately, but only after a while. I bought my first Eileen Fisher outfit more than 10 years ago. I didn’t get too much use of it. I was too young and did not appreciate the stretchy waistline and baggy but forgiving top.
Anyway, the thing which I felt I NEEDED is a light linen dress to wear around on weekends in the sweltering DC summer. I decided to go to the Georgetown store which usually has a wide selection of the latest Eileen Fisher’s clothes. I went alone during an early summer heat wave and enjoyed the slow melting walk on the Q Street brick sidewalk,

                                                              sun-touched houses,

an old church


                        and a beautiful flower garden

The store was almost empty, well air-conditioned and with great selection of clothes for women of a certain age. In this certain age category my size is XS or S. Never mind they are Eileen Fisher sizes, it feels good anyway, it doesn’t matter that it is only a delusion.  The sales woman was tactful and pleasant. I was in a shopping mood and the clothes looked good on me. I felt much younger, maybe a whole decade. 

After trying on about 10 outfits, I was almost ready to buy a beautiful aqua colored A line dress.
 Before making it final, I decided to peruse the store one more time to make sure that I hadn’t missed anything.  And suddenly I saw the pink dress on a mannequin. It was classy, smart and feminine. The store had only one dress left in size XS. It was a tad small for me; I needed it in size S. I was so excited that I asked sales woman to take a picture of me in the
dress to show to my husband. But the decision was made; I will
find  this dress in a size S and buy it!
With that decision, I flew home in high spirits, oblivious to the heat, hoping to find my size. As I got home, I immediately went online, and found that the dress was available in my size. Hallelujah! I put it in a shopping basket and… suddenly realized that the dress was very fancy and cost almost $300. All I needed was a simple dress to run errands on the weekends. I already have enough dressy clothes for a few outings to better restaurants and for the Kennedy Center concerts. There would be almost no need for the dress. I should not and will not buy it.

Being a responsible adult, I’m not going to waste money on expensive piece which I will wear only a few times. How boring and miserably old it feels. I’m generally an optimistic person and don’t get upset about getting old. The wisdom which comes with age gives a certain freedom which I find rather enjoyable and I don’t get obsessed with every new wrinkle or an extra pound. But this so called ‘reason’ and self-imposed discipline made me feel deprived and depressed. A sign of age more significant than any wrinkle…

I may buy the dress, just in spite.